A science-backed diagnostic for intimacy in long-term relationships. 56 questions. 7 research domains. A precise map of what's sustaining desire — and what's suppressing it.
Built on peer-reviewed research by Gottman, Perel, Nagoski, Basson, and Aron. Take it alone or with your partner.
Free to start • Private • Takes ~15 minutes
How it works
56 carefully designed questions across 7 research-backed domains. Takes about 15 minutes. Every question matters.
An AI analyst trained on the relationship science literature interprets your pattern — what's suppressing desire, what's protecting it, and why.
Share your invite code. When both of you complete the assessment, interaction effects and relational dynamics are detected automatically.
What we measure
Each domain maps to a distinct body of research. Together, they form the most complete picture of what sustains — or suppresses — desire in long-term relationships.
How safe do you feel being emotionally naked with your partner?
Based on Bowlby's attachment theory and Hazan & Shaver's adult attachment research. Secure attachment independently predicts higher desire (Mikulincer, 2006).
Can you still see your partner as someone separate, mysterious, and not fully known?
Drawing from Perel's erotic distance model and Muise (2024) on celebrated otherness. Too much closeness suppresses desire as reliably as too little.
What is your body actually working with right now?
Grounded in neuroendocrine research. Testosterone, cortisol, sleep, and exercise directly modulate desire (Gettler, 2011; Brotto, 2010).
Is there room in your mind for desire to live?
Informed by Nagoski's dual control model and Perel's work on erotic imagination. Desire = accelerators minus brakes (Nagoski, 2015).
Do you both actually show up for each other — emotionally and physically?
Built on Gottman's bid-response research and Basson's circular model of desire. Partners who respond to 86%+ of bids stay together (Gottman, 1999).
Have you become co-managers of a life instead of lovers in one?
Rooted in Gottman's contempt research and role theory. Chronic role imbalance is the #1 predictor of relationship failure (Gottman & Silver, 2012).
Are you someone worth desiring right now?
Based on Aron's self-expansion theory. Growth-promoting relationships sustain desire; stagnation suppresses it (Aron et al., 2000).
The evidence base
Every question traces back to published, peer-reviewed research on desire, attachment, and relationship functioning.
Bid-response patterns, contempt prediction, repair after conflict
Erotic distance, celebrated otherness, imagination as engine of desire
Dual control model — desire as accelerators minus brakes
Circular model of desire — intimacy → arousal → desire
Self-expansion theory — growth-promoting relationships sustain desire
Adult attachment and sexual functioning in long-term couples
Better together
When both of you complete the assessment, the real insights unlock. The AI analyst identifies interaction effects — pursuer-distancer dynamics, fusion traps, desire discrepancies — patterns neither of you can see alone.
Start the assessment first. You'll get a partner code to share when you finish. Or use the “Join Your Partner” button above if you already have a code.
Find out what's blocking yours. The diagnostic is free to start, private, and takes about 15 minutes.